Low Blood Sugar Ponderings

So, I read that the member of the Jersey Shore "cast" from MTV make between $3,000-10,000 per appearance. A.K.A. just to show up at a club.

How on earth is Snooki making more money than me??

Organic Food Makes Me Cool

I recently started using reusable grocery bags at the grocery store. I'd like to say this is because I'm going green and thinking of the environment and being an overall better person, but really it's just to fit in at Trader Joe's. All the cool kids there are carrying reusable bags. Everyone there is so friendly and happy, therefor reusable bags must make you happy, right?

I've even started taking the reusable bags to regular grocery store which is really amazing because then you can feel superior to everyone else carting around their paper and plastic. I also recently discovered that Stop and Shop gives you a $.05 credit if you bring your own bag. FIVE WHOLE CENTS!

The moral of the story is now I fit in at Trader Joe's so I can go in my yoga pants and buy organic potato chips and 99% fat free burritos.

If you're not familiar with the scene, this "commercial" pretty much says it all.

Hi, My Name Is...

SO, i have been DYING to update on what happened at the Christmas party. To get you up to speed, the Christmas party is a lunch at a country club. We each are given 2 dink tickets and there is a buffet and forced mingling and we usually get out early. I have no problems with this. The worst part of this "party" is that every year they make all the new people stand up and introduce themselves and HR says a fun and interesting (i.e. boring or weird) fact about them and we all clap and they get embarrassed and sit down. However this year, HR threw us for a loop and decided to do something different.

We arrived at noon and had our awkward conversations and a token alcoholic beverage in the middle of the day and then thankfully sat down to move things along and get to the food. That's when we were informed that since there had been so many changes over the last year, EVERYONE was going to stand up and introduce themselves. One. By. One. This is not a joke. So I spent the next hour and half trying to keep a look of horror off my face while all 180 people stood up one by one and said their name, department, and how many years they had worked for the company. It was like some sort of bazaar-o AA meeting or something. This is not a joke. The least they could have done was feed me first!

We eventually made it through what I will fondly call one of the worst ideas ever and around 2pm we were able to eat our warmed over buffet. Oh, and by the way yes we were all wearing nametags but apparently that wasn't sufficient. Bah Humbug.

Are You Trying to Tell Me Something?

SO - A guy on my team gave me a Christmas present. It was a lovely gesture and I didn't get anything for him. However, he got me a book called
Why does Popcorn Pop and 201 other fun food facts

I'm not kidding. Um, thanks?

The Hiatus is Over

Ok, so to everyone who has been emailing me about this blog here's what happened. I woke up in the middle of the night and got scared that I would be found out and exposed as the writer for HIC and then I'd be fired and my life would be ruined. I made the blog private and didn't post and didn't invite anytone to read it. So to everyone who knows who I am, keep your mouth shut or HumansInCages will go away forever and never come back.

The thing is so much nonsense has been happening and I feel that I'm doing you all justice if I don't tell you. So I'm back.