Namaste

I don't really like yoga (at all) but everyone is always talking about how wonderful it is and how it puts you at peace with the world and yourself and bla bla bla. So after a particularly frustrating day at work where I did not feel at peace with anyone or anything I decided to give this yoga thing a try. I showed up for a class at my gym, which is near work, and I couldn't even find the right room and I wasn't wearing cool yoga clothes but I finally sat down with the proper equipment and waited for class to begin.

The teacher walked in and put on soothing music and said "ok, let's being (in that really low, monotone voice) and at that moment WHO should come running in but the highly annoying and fully crazy HR Lady from work. F-ing super. So now it was too late to leave and I was stuck in this class I didn't really want to be in with someone I really didn't want to talk to. I was a few rows behind her so I thought maybe I could avoid her but little did I know yoga is full of moves where you turn and look over your should. It took all of 5 minutes for her to see me and start waving and yell-whispering "hi". Needless to say the class was in no way peaceful.

I spent the next hour trying to do moves I really couldn't do (and hold them) and breath in and out loudly, all the while being highly aware of the watchful eyes of HR Lady. Oh, did I mentioned HR Lady loves to gossip? The last straw was when at the end we had to lay on the floor for like an HOUR. I mean maybe it was five minutes but had to be still and silent for an impossibly long time and I have never felt so antsy.

Of course at the end of the class HR Lady came running over to me all, "Hiiiiiii - oh how are you?? What are you doing here, I've never seen you in this class before? Do you go to this gym?"
I told her no, it was just a trial and I didn't think I'd be coming back. Now I stick to the treadmills in the back where I belong. HR Lady is none the wiser.