Every summer the company hosts an annual softball game and BBQ. They try and play it off like it’s a fun relaxing day to spend wonderful quality time with your co-workers. It’s not, I assure you.
At our meeting today a new manager at work, Jan, asked if we the marketing department would be competing, and suggested forming a marketing team. The can of worms was opened. We reluctantly informed her you cannot do this because there is, in fact, a draft. Captains are chosen and then there is a draft of everyone signed up to play. I know what you’re thinking, become a captain yourself and stack the teams but that’s why we have the commissioner to regulate. You heard me. So the teams are drafted and everyone shows up for the big day. Every year the HR department tries to convince the new people that this is a fun low-key event and those people sign up and end up leaving the game in tears, or worse a stretcher. In recent years I can recall a full on blow-out fight in the middle of the field over a mistake in the rules, the batting order sheet ripped up because it “wasn’t good enough”, a man 3 days away from retirement being taken away in a stretcher for knee surgery, and of course hysterics of lower-level employees who fear being fired over a missed out.
So one by one everyone informs Jan that no, they will not be playing. Except Gregg of course (Mr. Manshower), he’ll be representing. So Jan wants us to think of something peppy and “market” him if you will. Perhaps we should all wear matching t-shirts with Gooooooo Marketing! and other funny slogans. Or hats even, team M. But then we decide we don’t look good in t-shirts and hats mess up your hair. So maybe we should make signs like bizzar-o, out of shape, B-squad cheerleaders. Ding ding ding! I think we have a winner. The plans are really still in the beginning stages and the game is still a month away. More to come…
