Cubes!

I’m thinking about pitching a new show to MTV. It will be similar to Cribs! and it will be called “Cubes!” I’ll take a camera crew around from cube to cube and show them all the crazy, pimped out sh$t people put up on their cube walls and collect at their desk. I’ll be all edgy like, “hellz ya, look at that killer poster of a cat clinging to the wall saying ‘hang in there’. Totally badass. Check out this completely original, hand made, one of a kind calendar of sunsets. Or look, here are sweet vintage collectables like pez dispensers and magic eight balls.” People will finally have an opportunity to show off all the “funny” mugs and 8 million photographs of their weddings and children framed on the desk. I mean, why are platinum records and huge TVs more interesting than say, oversized plants and year old birthday cards?

Don’t worry though, I have a backup. If MTV isn’t really feeling it, I’ll pull out the secret weapon: cube names. Every one of my office mates will be given a handle by which they will be referred to for the rest of the show. Here’s what I have so far:
constant chatter, nail clipper, personal calls, crazy eyes, and sweatpants.

I mean watching annoying celebrities who get paid too much show you how they are squandering away their money on useless, expensive crap is cool and all, but let’s bring it back down to the little guy. So MTV, are you in?