Why Don't You Just Buy It

I currently lease my car and I'm nearing the end of the contract so I had to have someone come and inspect it. I had them come look at it at work because that's where I am all the time and so when the guy came my boss saw him looking at my car.
My boss asked me if I was having car trouble and i explained my lease was almost up, bla bla. She then asked what i was going to drive and I told her I was planning on buying out the lease so I wouldn't have to put money down and have a higher monthly payment, etc etc.

She sort of looked at me and said: "why don't you just buy a new car?" She was being serious. She was really asking me that, completely innocent. I told her - I don't have any money. I don't make very much (btw - she decides my salary). She laughed and said, oh - haha yeah. Well I guess that makes sense then.

Was it really necessary for you to rub my face in the fact that you make enough to just buy cars and I can barely afford the monthly payment? thanks so much.

What Has the Office Run Out Of

I have a new game for everyone - it's called: What Has the Office Run Out Of?

The answer for today is....
plastic spoons

sorry to everyone who was hoping to have cereal.

The Dreaded Commute: Snow Edition

Seriously with the snow today? I got up early and drove about 20 miles an hour all the way to work; an hour and half and 3 skids later I finally arrived. That's when I realized that my prize was actually being at work. I'm going out on a limb here and saying it wasn't worth it.

Overheard at the Water Cooler

Lady 1: So yesterday I saw a MOUSE in the basement - can you believe it!
Lady 2: Oh my god, I would already have the for-sale sign out in the front yard.

I Don't Work Here

I watched this video last week and thought it was mildly amusing, then it happened to me. I was at a restaurant after work wearing black pants and red button down shirt and a girl came up and asked me where the bathroom was. When I told her I didn't work there and didn't know she gave me a dirty look as though she didn't believe me.

Do You Work Here? - watch more funny videos

A Company InVESTment

I just got an email to send my size to the events manager because we are getting "a fun clothing item" at our sales meeting. After some investigating I have uncovered that the clothing item is a vest. My first thought was vest, like a suit vest, and I was very confused and thought, oh great we're going to be forced to put on some sort of performance wearing vests and top hats and canes. I envisioned a kickline while singing I loooove to woooork! That myth was quickly dissuaded when they told me no it's a fleece vest with the company logo. Ohhhh. So I said, a fleece vest? Why can't we just get a regular fleece coat, like with sleeves? The answer was, of course, that sleeves were too expensive. We can't afford sleeves.

Overheard at the Water Cooler

Person 1: How are you?

Person 2: Fine, just really unhappy to be here

Facebook Fail

Here are some post from people I went to highschool with. Thanks guys for highlighting our stellar education.

i hate when someone tries to impress someone else by being something their not

(Please try and get a handle on the use of there, their, and they're before you post anything else)

Why is chips and salsa so addictive...

(seriously? I'd like to give you the benefit of the doubt and say you did that on purpose)

Auto Complete Me

Thanks to K. for sending this to me. I've come across some of these in my own google searches but having a website do it for me is much better. This also kind of falls in line with my theory that google is always watching and trying to take over the world and maybe some of these are their diabolical ways of influencing us and getting revenge.

http://autocompleteme.com/

The Building is Heated by the Sun

Most people are not happy with then temperature in their office but I have to say I think this place takes it to a new level. It is so freaking cold all the time. HR loves to tell us that they can't control the heat in the building and it's difficult to regulate so everyone is warm. Fine, whatever, I don't really care about everyone I care about me. Make my section warm. Or at least tolerable. Last year people were sending all these emails complaining so HR responded with this:

Please be advised that the building is heated by the sun. When the sun hits the building in the morning it will be warmer and when it goes behind the building in the afternoon it will get cooler. Please dress appropriately and in layers.

I mean, I'm all for going green but WTF. Why do we have to rely on the sun for heat when electricity exists? Today it's cloudy so there is no sun and no warmth. Last year the heat broke for the entire month of February and they wouldn't bring someone in to fix it. We all went to work in down jackets and and gloves. This is no joke. People tried to bring in space heaters but that was shut down because apparently it's afire hazard or something. when they eventually got the heat fixed we were informed it was 42 degrees in the office. I really can't wait for the cold to set in again.

Low Blood Sugar Ponderings

I think that cell phone technology has come a long way over the last 10 years. In fact, I would go so far as to say every single person I know has and uses a cellphone, including my grandmother. In FACT, most people use cell phones as their primary phones and are pretty familiar with the whole system and how they work. So why, after all this time, do cell phones STILL instruct me on how to leave a message?? "At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished recording, you may hang up or press 1 for more options." No. F-ing. Way. Record at the tone? And then hang up when I'm done?? Are you sure??? I feel so uncertain how to proceed with this newfangled technology. Please cell phone, walk me through it! I think it's time we put a little trust in society and just went directly for the beep (think Dylan McKay, "this is Dylan, you know the drill"). I do know the drill, I do.

Overheard at the Water Cooler

"I just got yet another bitchy email talking to me like I'm a peon busboy at Denny's, instead of a professional who's worked here for four years."

This Can't be Good

I think the cleaning staff at the office has thrown in the towel (or the tissue..?). Instead of replacing toilet paper in the dispensers they just left some rolls in he stalls. I'm considering this a sign of things to come here.

Namaste

I don't really like yoga (at all) but everyone is always talking about how wonderful it is and how it puts you at peace with the world and yourself and bla bla bla. So after a particularly frustrating day at work where I did not feel at peace with anyone or anything I decided to give this yoga thing a try. I showed up for a class at my gym, which is near work, and I couldn't even find the right room and I wasn't wearing cool yoga clothes but I finally sat down with the proper equipment and waited for class to begin.

The teacher walked in and put on soothing music and said "ok, let's being (in that really low, monotone voice) and at that moment WHO should come running in but the highly annoying and fully crazy HR Lady from work. F-ing super. So now it was too late to leave and I was stuck in this class I didn't really want to be in with someone I really didn't want to talk to. I was a few rows behind her so I thought maybe I could avoid her but little did I know yoga is full of moves where you turn and look over your should. It took all of 5 minutes for her to see me and start waving and yell-whispering "hi". Needless to say the class was in no way peaceful.

I spent the next hour trying to do moves I really couldn't do (and hold them) and breath in and out loudly, all the while being highly aware of the watchful eyes of HR Lady. Oh, did I mentioned HR Lady loves to gossip? The last straw was when at the end we had to lay on the floor for like an HOUR. I mean maybe it was five minutes but had to be still and silent for an impossibly long time and I have never felt so antsy.

Of course at the end of the class HR Lady came running over to me all, "Hiiiiiii - oh how are you?? What are you doing here, I've never seen you in this class before? Do you go to this gym?"
I told her no, it was just a trial and I didn't think I'd be coming back. Now I stick to the treadmills in the back where I belong. HR Lady is none the wiser.