My Advice For Recent Graduates

Recently we had an open position for an entry-level person on the team and I had the honor of being a part of the resume screening and first round interviews (I know, ironic isn't it?). I don't screen candidates often but I figured - it's entry level, we just need an enthusiastic recent college grad. I was not prepared for what happened. Speaking from a strictly non-HR position and someone with really no background or authority, here is my advice.

First, please do not list all of your college course on your resume. I mean, I really can't express to you how much I don't care that you took communication 460 and statistics 201. Along those lines, if you have no work experience, why is your resume 3 pages long? (Maybe because you listed all your courses...) I don't need to know where you went to high school and the names of every family you babysit for and that you were a substitute teacher for exactly 3 days.

Ok, so assuming your resume is decent and you come in and interview, please engage in conversation with me. Please. If I say, "Hey you went to X college, what made you choose that school?" don't just stare at me and say, "I don't know, it was close to home." I mean, I don't expect you to have all this work experience to discuss with me but I sort of thought you'd be able to tell me about yourself. Oh and also, if I ask if you're interested in the industry of the job for which you're applying, you should say yes. It's okay if you lie to me, I'd actually prefer it. Feel free to lie and and say you can't wait to start working and are very enthusiastic. I mean, I lie to all of you. When you ask me if I like working here I always say "yes, I really love it." See, it's pretty easy.

Help me help you, recent grads. Work sucks but you don't know that yet, because you haven't had a job. So really, you should all greet me blissfully unaware and excited to put up some affirmation posters in your cube. Is that asking too much?
Then after you've been working for a few months, you can start to refer to the cube as a cage and go to lunch so that you can bitch with co-workers. It's all the natural progression of life.