Cage Monkey Goes Missing: Office Goes Bananas

I have always thought if I just didn't show up for work one day nobody would notice and wondered how long it would take before someone realized the cage had been unlocked and the animals had gotten free. I was wrong.

We have 2 offices that are about 5 miles away from each other and occasionally have to drive back and forth between the two for meetings. It's actually kind of a pain in the ass but whatever. So at 4pm on Tuesday I learn from this guy on that we have a meeting in the other office first thing the next morning. He had conveniently forgotten to tell me about it and rather than sending me a meeting request he just casually mentioned it and told me I should go. Great. So I didn't really see anyone the rest of the day to let them know but figured, okay so I'll be gone an hour and that will be that. The meeting ended up being FIVE HOURS LONG. So unnecessary. There was some weirdo guy presenting to us that reminded me of an overzealous magician. His voice would get all loud and excited and then he'd point at someone and say, "so then what do YOU think would happen??" I kept waiting for him to pull a rabbit out of his briefcase but it never happened.

So five hours and 3 advil later I finally get back to my cage and everyone is frantic. Seriously. Apparently some issue had come up and they needed to find me and couldn't and then started freaking out. They told me the were "so worried that something had happened to me" and half the office knew I was "missing". I guess after about an hour of panic they asked someone who knew where I was and order was restored but when I got back I had to apologize to everyone for all the heartache I had put them through.

I'm thinking of posting my schedule on the cube wall now so this never happens again. This totally ruins my plan of disappearing one day and not coming back and expecting to get a paycheck.